Alphabetic Pineapples
by TheWallTalksBack
Summary: Each chpater will be a different Shassie dabble, from K to M, Humor to Angst, anything is possible. Read and Review! No like Slash? No read! XP
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: Okay… I know I should be working on all my other stories but… I love Psych so hard… I HAVE to write some Shassie!

So… basically… each chapter is going to be a single word, starting with a letter in the alphabet and each dabble will be based on that word, or will mention it. They can be rated from K to M, and will all contain some sort of Shassie.

Okay? :3


	2. Anachronism

Anachronism

Rating: K

"That is a complete lie! An anachronism!"

"How do you even know that word Shawn?"

"Wikipedia. Anyways, as I was saying… I looked it up! It's today!"

"No Shawn, its next Monday, not this Monday!"

The two partners in psychic anti-crime were walking the halls of Santa Barbara Police department, Gus with his usually skeptical look on his face, Shawn holding a pineapple with a large blue bow on it.

"Fine Shawn." Gus spat out at his friend, looking away. "Say you are right, and it is Lassiter's birth day. Why are you giving him a present? You know he hates you. On top of that, he surely doesn't want a pineapple!"

Shawn pouted childishly, stopping and turning to his companion, causing the other to stop as well. "First off, I am right. Second off, he can't hate me, I'm to cuddly and cute, and smexy and hot and-"

"Shawn!"

"Right. Thirdly, how can anyone not want pineapples? They're cuddly and cute and smexy and-"

"Spencer!"

Shawn looked up in surprise, seeing Lassiter standing not too far away down the hall, hands on his hips like usual.

"Ah! Lassafrass! Just the man I wanted to see!" Shawn strode over to the head detective before holding out the pineapple. "Happy Birthday!"

Lassiter stared at Shawn for a good two minutes. As time passed, Shawn began to get nervous. Why wasn't he saying anything? The fake-psychic would rather be yelled at then just stand here in silence. He was about to pull the fruit of epicness away when Lassiter did something unusual.

He took the fruit from Shawn's grip, catching the younger man off guard, then leaned down, catching Shawn's full lips with his rougher ones, catching the psychic even more off guard. When Lassiter pulled back, Shawn was gapping like a fish.

"I appreciate the gesture Spencer, but my birthday isn't until next Monday." Shawn's brain, which was currently fried, took a while to process what the man had said, and it wasn't until the head detective was out of sight that he snapped back to his senses, soon enough to hear Gus say:

"I told you, Shawn"


	3. Beaten

Beaten

Rating: T

Lassiter was sprinting through the halls of the Hospital, weaving in and out of patients, doctors and visitors, not caring about the stream of curses that fallowed him. All he cared about was finding Shawn, the phone call he had received twenty minutes earlier still ringing in his mind.

"_What is it Spencer?" Lassiter barked as he answered the phone._

"_Hey Lassie…" came the hoarse reply, all the usual happiness drained from the younger man's voice._

_Lassiter suddenly knew something was very wrong. "Spencer, what happened?"_

_Then came a dry humorless chuckle. "Well, I was sort of jumped… Accidentally witnessed a murder and all…"_

_Lassiter felt his heart sink. "Where are you?" He asked, unable stop the concern from leaking into his voice. He didn't hate Spencer, in fact, he accepted Spencer now, but he still argued with him to keep up appearance._

"_Hospital." Shawn croaked out. "Don't tell Gus or my Dad… Promise me?"_

_Lassiter hesitated, but couldn't help saying "Yeah, Spencer, I promise."_

Lassiter stopped so quickly in front of the door to the ICU room he nearly fell over. However his fault was only momentary as he nearly tore the door open. All his breath seamed to leave his body at the sight.

The usually bouncy, hyper, weird, strong-willed, so-called Psychic was laying in the bed, pale and covered in busies and fresh wounds, wrapped in gauze. His normally intelligently bright green-hazel eyes were dulled with medicine induced fatigue, caused by the IV in his arm. His body was hooked up to various machines that showed his vital signs, reading stable at the moment. He looked to fragile and breakable, a complete opposite to the indissoluble force that was Shawn Spencer.

"Shawn…" He couldn't call him Spencer, not when he was like this, not when he looked like he would _shatter. _

Shawn looked up and smiled as he saw who it was that said his name, although the expression didn't meet his eyes. "Lassie… You made it." He whispered, his voice sounding as if he had been kneed in the windpipe, which probably wasn't too far off.

Lassiter dared to move closer, moving to the young man's bedside. "Shawn… Who did this to you?" He wanted nothing more than to catch, and possible maim, whoever did this to him. Ha also wanted to do something to comfort the man, to reach out and hold him, but he feared he would cause more damage than good with the state he was in.

Suddenly, Shawn slowly took Lassiter's hand in his, his hold weak, but there. "You'll catch them." It wasn't a question, nor was it an answer.

"Shawn…" Blue eyes trained on green. "Who did this to you?" Slight desperation trailed in his voice.

Shawn pulled Lassiter's hand to his face and rested it on his cheek. Without thinking, Lassiter caressed him. "I know you'll catch them Lassie… My Lassie…" He closed his eyes, leaning back into the pillows.

Panic and desperation began to bubble up in the head detective. "Shawn! You need to tell me who did this!" There was no answer for a while. "Shawn?"

Those green eyes opened again, and Shawn reached up grabbing the older man around the neck. Lassiter gave no resistance as he was pulled down, his lips meeting Shawn's for half a second before Shawn let him go, smiling with shining eyes. "I always wanted to do that…" His eyes slid closed once more.

"Shawn?" Confusion and worry swept over Lassiter as the man below him apparently fell asleep. "Shawn?" Suddenly he noticed the rhythmic beat on the monitor tracking Shawn's heart began to slow. He grabbed the faux-Psychic's hand in his own again, watching, shocked, as his heart beats got slower and slower. And just as he was about to flat line-

A sudden sharp buzz pulled Lassiter from his dream, causing him to bolt up-right in bed. He looked around to find himself in his bedroom rather than an ICU room.

He reached up to wipe his face and found… dried tears on his cheeks. He felt over his cheeks again, but before he could think on it, his cell phone let out another shrill buzz, alerting him to a new text message. He picked up the phone and flipped it open, finding the message was from Shawn.

_Lassie, did you know the smallest mammal in the world is the bumblebee bat which is only 11mm long? Cool, huh?_

Lassiter blinked a few times, clearing his mind enough to understand Shawn's message, then look at the time, which read 1:27 am. He couldn't help but grin a little as he typed a reply.

_Shut up Spencer._


	4. Chunks

Chunks

Rating: K+? Maybe T?

"Spencer… what the hell are you doing?"

"What? I'm bored."

"That doesn't mean you should just shove that in there like that! It's gross!"

"C'mon Lassie, It's not that gross, although it does feel funny."

"I honestly can't believe boredom has reduced you to this…"

"It's wet…"

"Eww…"

"Lassie! It's stuck! Pull it out!"

"No! I'm not touching it!"

"Lassie! Oooow! It hurts!"

"That's what you get for just shoving it in without thinking!"

"But Lassie!"

"I'll call Henry."

"No!"

"Spencer, let go of my arm!"

"No! Don't call my dad! He'll just laugh! Lassie! It hurts!"

"Don't give me that face! It's your own damn fault!"

"…"

"…………. Fine… I'll get some pliers."

From that day on, Lassiter never let Shawn get bored around a can of pineapple chunks again… Shawn's nose was still sore.

(A/N: Okay guys… I need help. If you guys so wish, feel free to suggest prompts for the next letter. I'll pretty much anything. The next letter is D. So what'll it be? You can feel free to suggest promts for other letters too.)


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